It depends a lot on the disability, and on the individual, because different people feel differently. There’s people who identify as Deaf and would not like to be changed even if they could, and there’s people who desperately want to hear. They might identify differently. Similarly, nearly all the autistics I know strongly prefer “autistic” (noun) or “autistic person” (autistic as an adjective), to “person with autism”.
So I think it depends a lot on how people relate to a given disability, and I’m not a huge fan of general rules, especially because the overwhelming majority of the people I’ve known with any disability tended to object fairly strenuously to what they perceived as euphemistic language or language that tried to distance them from the reality of their daily lives. One person’s comment was:
No, I’m not “differently abled”. I’m a fucking cripple.
(I might be misquoting the first part, but the last couple of words are exact.)
And honestly, I don’t accept the “puts the focus on the individual, not the particular functional limitation” argument. Just as an example: Distinguish between “woman”, “female person”, and “person with femaleness”. Or between “gay man” and “man who is affected by homosexuality”. What really happens is the opposite, in most cases. When you take care to emphasize that someone is a person, this implies that people wouldn’t think so without the reminder. Which sort of suggests that you think they are somehow insufficiently obviously people.
And the thing is, the world is indeed full of people who don’t believe that autistics are really people, in one way or another, but I don’t think emphasizing how widespread that belief is helps us. I think it’s more helpful to just take our personhood for granted and make that be the premise implied by choice of words, because the implied premise is the one people will tend to accept, while the explicit premise tends to be more subject to questioning or doubt. If you write a thing which asserts that I’m a person, the implication that I might not be will tend to end up more strongly reinforced than the actual overt assertion. If you write a thing which takes it for granted that I’m a person, that will tend to get reinforced even if you didn’t say it directly.